Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
