found the other keg... it's in the tree
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize