You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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