I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
