To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
