yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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