I am spending my child support on dildos
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
