Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm really into asian looking animals
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
