I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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