As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
