i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
