A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
