Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
