please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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