He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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