so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
