Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
