I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
