Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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