yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
