I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
