I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
