TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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