Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
