I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
