I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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