I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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