I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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