And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
