I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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