Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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