when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just tell him i said nine months
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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