ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
