Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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