i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
this hospital has no fireball
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
