16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
