Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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