Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize