I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
