Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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