I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
