Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
