I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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