Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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