How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
