I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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