I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize