At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
