can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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