My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize