I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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