I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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