I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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