if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
