y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
