i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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