my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
