she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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