I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
