Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
