Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
