Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
