READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
