shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
