Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
